Their Light
by Nagato-Chan19
Summary: She was the glue that held them together. She was the light in their darkest hour. But what will they do, their light begins to fade away? Chizuru has been with the Shinsengumi from the start, and acted like a mother and a sister to the orphaned boys. She grew up with them. She became the one thing in their lives that they would never be able to live with out. But now, she's dying.
1. Their Light

Their Light

**Sum **: She was with them, every step of the way. She was the glue that held them together. She was the light in their darkest hour. But what will they do, their light begins to fade away. Chizuru has been with the Shinsengumi from the start, and acted like a mother and a sister to the orphaned boys. She grew up with them. She became the one thing in their lives that they would never be able to live without. But what happens when Chizuru gets the deadly, incurable disease. Tuberculosis.

* * *

"Kondou-sensei, here's your tea." An eleven year old Chizuru smiled as she set the jasmine tea in front of Kondou.

Kondou returned the smile, patting her head affectionately.

"Thank you, Chizuru-chan." He responded.

Chizuru went around to the three other men in the room.

"Inoue-sensei." She smiled once more.

The middle aged man smiled as well, the crows' marks on the sides of his eyes becoming more prominent.

"Thank you, Chizuru-chan." He replied.

She moved onto the youngest of the people in the room, only being eight years old, Heisuke sat, beaming up at his Onee-chan. She handed him his cup of lychee juice, since he had always hated tea.

"Thanks Onee-chan!" Heisuke piped.

Chizuru giggled at the small boy.

"No problem Heisuke-chan." She giggled.

Turning slightly she handed another cup to a bespectacled boy of around sixteen years of age. He grinned in thanks.

"You're welcome, Sannan-kun." She answered.

She moved onto lastly, the serious fourteen year old who sat with his arms crossed and eyes closed. She set his tea down in front of him and gave a huff.

"You're welcome Toshi-chan, you ungrateful bastard. Now quit sulking." She snapped, like a nagging mother.

Hijikata gave a childish huff and grumbled something along the lines of _'Hai, Chizuru-__**baka**__.'_ Her hand reached forward like lightning and smacked him over the head. If you had blinked you would have missed it. Hijikata rubbed the now growing bump on his head and sent a heated glare at the girl who was smiling like and _innocent little angel_.

"I wanted to announce something today. And I hope you will all keep an open mind about this." Kondou said.

Everyone turned to give Kondou their full attention.

"Starting tomorrow, this little dojo of ours will gain some new members. And by some, I mean a lot. I have made an agreement with the Kyoto capital officials. We are going to become guardians of the emperor, and serve Kyoto. We will help the people of this city as well." He declared.

"Really! So, we'll fight off all the bad guys and save lots of people? That's so cool! We'll be heroes-." Heisuke continued to babble on and on.

"But will we have the numbers?" Inoue asked.

"We have already recruited some men and some orphans. The men will be working with me, while the younger children will train to one day take their place. That means you three, Heisuke, Toshi, and Sannan." Kondou said.

All three smiled, happy that they would be doing something to help the people.

* * *

"EKKKKK! Boys! Go clean up! You're getting dirt all over the floor! And I just cleaned it..." Chizuru scolded the small group of teenage boys.

Hijikata smirked while Sannan, Heisuke and the others smiled apologetically.

"Shoo! Shoo! Get going! And if I see one speck of dirt anywhere near the rugs, I'll castrate you all!" Chizuru seethed.

The men ran off quickly, trying to avoid their 'Kaa-chan's' wrath.

"Geeze, Kaa-chan is really testy today." Shinpatchi whispered to Harada.

"Must be one of those _womanly days_ Kondou tried to tell us about." Heisuke answered.

Hijikata sent a stern look at the youngest of the group.

* * *

"Ohayo, Kaa-chan!" Shinpatchi yawned as he leaned against the small kitchen door frame.

Heisuke walked in as well and made a bee line for Chizuru, hoping to snatch some food. He hugged her from behind and nuzzled his nose in the space between her shoulder blades, the soft fabric of her deep blue house kimono caressing his face gently. The action always made the young teenager feel safe. When he was near Chizuru, he felt happy, safe and warm. She really was a mother to them all.

"Heisuke-chan, I'm not giving you any food yet. You have to wait til breakfast." She chuckled.

"But _Kaa-chaaaaaaan_, Shinpatchi always steals mine!" He whined.

"Only 'cause I'm bigger than you, therefore, I gotta eat more!" Shinpatchi rationalized.

"Don't make me give you a tiny portion, Shin-chan." Chizuru warned.

Heisuke pulled away from Chizuru slightly and turned his head, sticking his tong out at Shinpatchi. He gave Chizuru a quick peck on the head and darted out of the room. Shinpatchi growled a low menacing growl. He quickly walked over to Chizuru and gave her a kiss on the top of her head, turning and throwing a 'ja ne!' behind him as he ran after Heisuke.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE-!"

Chizuru giggled lightly.

_Those two..._

Sannan, Saito, Okita and Hijikata walked into the kitchen to greet their Kaa-chan good morning.

"Heisuke and Shinpatchi seem to be as lively as ever this morning." Sannan yawned, walking over to Chizuru and giving her a kiss on the top of her head.

A gesture all the captains did to Chizuru. She was their special woman after all.

Hijikata attempted to swipe a rice ball from a tray next to Chizuru, but she was too fast and, without even looking away from her current task of making miso soup, she slapped his hand away from the food.

"Wait until breakfast, baka." Chizuru said.

Hijikata grumbled and rubbed his sore hand. Sannan and Okita just laughed at their friend's misfortune. Saito was as blank as ever, but when he was around Chizuru, he did relax a little. She had a calming effect on him, as well as the others.

"Hajime-kun, could you help me please?" Chizuru asked.

Saito was at her side in seconds. He would do anything for Chizuru. His love and loyalty to her was as boundless at the sea surrounding Japan.

"Could you cut up the leeks for me please, my hands are a little full." Chizuru said.

He nodded mutely and set about his task, only wanting to please Chizuru.

"Hey Toshi-chan, Sann-chan. Go get everyone rounded up for breakfast. It'll be ready in fifteen minutes." Chizuru said.

"Hai Kaa-chan." Sannan smiled.

"Whatever, woman." Hijikata said.

"You're getting extra leeks, Toshi-chan." Chizuru said without looking back at him.

"But I hate leeks!" Hijikata huffed.

"Then don't call me _woman_!" Chizuru reprimanded.

Once again, Hijikata grumbled a string of curses under his breath and then left with Sannan to round up their friends for breakfast.

* * *

"Yamazaki-kun, Shimada-kun, your back early from your mission." Chizuru said.

"Hai, it's good to be back!" Shimada Kai yawned.

"Come on, I'll make you both some tea. You both look very tired." Chizuru said.

Both nodded their heads in approval, giving tired grins and followed her to the common room.

Yamazaki stared at Chizuru from behind.

_Where would we be without you, Chizuru-kaa-chan?_

* * *

Hijikata had been in his room almost the entire day, busy with writing his Haiku's, one of his odd little hobbies.

_My soul taking wings_

_Touching the face of my beloved_

_You absorbed me within_

He smiled, in thought of his true inspiration.

"Toshi-chan, I brought your tea." His 'true inspiration' called from the other side of the sliding door, then opening it.

Hijikata jumped and then quickly shoved other random papers over his Haiku's in order to hide them from Chizuru's prying eyes. He would be embarrassed to no end if she were to discover his soft, romantic feelings. He was a man Kami damnnit! Men shouldn't act this way!

Chizuru came inside and set his tea down next to him. She looked up at him. A small giggle escaped her lips. He raised an brow in question. She pointed to his long black hair that was currently out of its usual tie and in a complete mess.

"You're still hopeless without me, huh, Toshi-chan." She sighed.

"Oi! I-." He was cut off as she stood up and took a comb from one of the low tables, coming back to stand behind him.

She was so small, that even though he was kneeling and she was standing, his head reached a little above her stomach, so she didn't need to kneel. She took some of his hair and gently, in a soothing manor began running the comb through it, being sure not to pull at his hair painfully.

Hijikata leaned his head back into her hands, a small happy grin playing on his lips.

* * *

They were happy with their life; everyone didn't have anything to complain about. But maybe that's why it had to end. It was all too good, too perfect, it was just too _simple_. They were so happy.

But it's as they say. **All good things come to an end.**

* * *

"You're looking a little pale Chizuru-chan, are you alright?" Kondou asked with a deep concern laced in his words.

All heads turned to Chizuru.

Okita's eyes narrowed and he studied her more closely.

_Now that I look at her, she looks pretty tired. She's really pale. And she's got some dark circles under her eyes._

She waved her hand dismissively and laughed.

"Oh, it's nothing to get worried over. I'm just a little tired. But don't worry, I'm perfectly fine. And you know I never did like the hot weather, I think the heat is just getting to me is all. This summer sure is warm." She said.

The men exchanged looks.

"Oh, Kami, I forgot about the other tea cups. Be right back." Chizuru said.

She got up and left quickly, all eyes on her as she left the room.

* * *

Chizuru gave a hard cough, placing her small handkerchief to her mouth. Pulling it away, she saw the deep crimson liquid that she had coughed up. She folded the cloth and placed it back on the inside of her kimono and went ahead with collecting the washing.

She took down the clothes from the line and walked them inside and began folding them.

She suddenly felt the urge to cough again. Pulling out the cloth quickly, she coughed into it once again. There was more blood.

"Hey Kaa-chan! You ok in there?" Heisuke called from the other side of the sliding door.

She placed the cloth in her kimono again.

"I'm fine, my throat's a little dry is all!" She answered and continued with folding the washing.

She suddenly went into another coughing fit, blood dripping onto her hands. She once again took out the cloth and wiped them clean of the crimson blood.

_It's happening a lot more now. The coughing fits are becoming worse. I can't let them know, I don't want to burden anyone._

Heisuke frowned, concern flooding his entire body. He opened the sliding door, stepping inside.

"Is there something you need Heisuke-chan?" Chizuru asked, once again, her cheery smile present.

Heisuke came up behind her, his arms around her and his head in the space between her shoulder blades. Chizuru felt her smile falter.

_He can see right through me. He's really grown up._

She reached her hand down to where Heisuke's were, holding her tightly around the middle. She stroked his hand and upper arms in a soothing fashion.

"It's ok, Heisuke-chan. I'm here. I'm here for as long as you need me." Chizuru whispered softly.

_I just hope you won't need me for much longer._

* * *

"I'll go make some tea." Chizuru announced as the captains began their discussion on their patrols and making a new schedule.

Once Chizuru was gone, Okita looked over at Hijikata.

"Chizuru-chan doesn't look well." He stated.

Heisuke stiffened.

"Nani? She's just... Nothing's wrong with Kaa-chan. You're just being too observant Souji." Heisuke said, not wanting to believe anything was wrong.

"Oi, Heisuke! Don't just try to brush it off. You've noticed it too. She's been getting slower, she's coughing, she's getting pale ad thin and when I touched her hands, they were ice cold. Something's wrong. You know the way she is, she never tells us if she's not feeling well. She always pushes herself..." Okita sighed cheerlessly.

Hijikata felt worry fill the pit of his stomach. He'd noticed she was pale, and the coughing was very strange. She always brushes it off as her throat being dry, but the way she violently trembles and jolts with each cough. It can't be just nothing.

"I'm going to ask Matsumoto-sensei to have a look at her, just to be safe." Hijikata said.

Saito was frozen stiff, the thought of anything being wrong with Chizuru shook him to his very core. She had to be well, she was his world. She had to be there for him, and he had to stay by her side forever.

"Well, that should be a good idea. Matsumoto-sensei will be able to cure anything!" Harada smiled.

"I'm telling you, Kaa-chan is fine. She's not sick, she's probably just tired from taking care of a bunch of idiots like us." Heisuke joked.

Sannan looked down.

"Come to think of it, she always does all the cleaning, the clothes washing, the cooking. She pretty much does everything for us..." Sannan said.

The men's eyes widened. Suddenly, they felt guilty for just neglecting doing any chores, letting Chizuru do it all.

"Ne, why don't we take turns helping her out? Maybe then, she could get more rest?" Nagakura offered.

Kondou nodded, smiling.

"Ah! That's something we can do. We'll do it, for Chizuru-chan." Kondou smiled.

The men broke out into smiles, agreeing that they would pitch in and help Chizuru, but after saying that, a loud crash, the sound of cups breaking and someone falling o the ground, met their ears.

The men bolted up and ran to open the door. What they saw horrified them.

"KAA-CHAN!" Heisuke yelled.

* * *

"I'll go make some tea."

Chizuru had made her way to the small kitchen and boiled some water. After a few minutes, the tea was ready. Picking up the trays, she went to return to the common room with the hot beverages.

As she walked, she suddenly became dizzy, finding it hard to tell where to put her feet. And when she was almost two thirds of the way to the door, Chizuru collapsed, the trays and their contents fell to the floor, the cups shattering as they hit the ground.

The sliding door was thrown open, all the men from inside it rushed to Chizuru's aid. Chizuru soon began to fall into the deep dark pit of unconsciousness.

"KAA-CHAN!"

* * *

The men waited outside of the small room, each terrified for the well being of a certain brunette. The sliding door opened to reveal an elderly doctor.

"Matsumoto-sensei how is she?" Harada asked.

They leaned forward, wanting to catch everything they heard. A deep, sorrowful frown spread over his lips. It was bad, _very bad_.

"I can tell you now, that this isn't some illness she caught in the past few days. She's been suffering with this for a long while. My diagnosis is... tuberculosis." Matsumoto said.

And almost instantly, the boy's hearts dropped into their stomachs. They had all heard of the incurable disease that had killed thousands.

"It looks like she hasn't that much time left. Like I said before, she's had this for a while. I'd give her about another seven months, a year at the most. I'm truly sorry." Matsumoto sighed.

Hijikata had to lean against a wooden pillar to keep himself from collapsing.

_S-... Seven... Months...?_

Saito could barely breath, his head spun and his heart was constricting painfully in his chest.

_... At most... A year?_

Okita's eyes were widened in disbelief and fear, as were the others.

"But isn't there anything else you can do? Anything at all?! We'll pay you anything you need, we'll do anything you ask, so please, please help her!" Kondou bowed in front of Matsumoto.

Matsumoto shook his head.

"I'm sorry. She's beyond help. Tuberculosis is almost incurable." Matsumoto explained.

"You said 'almost' incurable, so there's still a chance you can help her!" Heisuke exclaimed.

"Only if it is detected early. But even then it is almost impossible. I'm very sorry. But there's nothing I can do to help her. All I can do is give you the medicine she needs to help ease her pain." Matsumoto sighed.

The boys looked down at the ground, all of them, utterly heartbroken.

* * *

Chizuru woke up in her room, extra blankets had been wrapped around her so she could stay warmer. She looked around the room, and found Saito resting against the wall, asleep.

"Hajime-kun." Chizuru rasped.

Saito was awake in seconds and by her side, like he always was.

"You're awake. Let me go tell the others you're up, they've been worried. We all have." Saito said.

Chizuru smiled weakly.

"Gomen... I... Never wanted to... Be a bother..." Chizuru said.

Saito narrowed his eyes at her.

"You will never be a bother. Is that understood?" Saito demanded.

Chizuru laughed and nodded.

"I'm going to get the others. Do. Not. Move." Saito growled.

Chizuru once again laughed at him weakly and nodded. Saito got up and went to inform the others of Chizuru's condition.

* * *

"KAA-CHAN!" Harada exclaimed.

Chizuru look over at him and raised an eyebrow, continuing with collecting clothes from the drying line.

"Sano-chan, it's not polite to yell." Chizuru chided.

"You can't be outside! It's cold and windy and your hands look so cold! Go inside! Or you'll get even sicker!" Harada scolded, taking the washing from her hands and pulling her indoors.

"Sano-chan! Let me go! There will be some severe consequences for you if you don't!" Chizuru screeched.

Harada brought Chizuru to her room and forced her onto the futon, piling blankets on her and tucking them around her tightly.

"I'm going to die of heat stroke like this Sano-chan." Chizuru sighed.

"Oh! They're too warm! I'll fix it, don't worry!" Harada exclaimed, pulling some blankets off and putting an extra pillow under her head.

"Sano-chan..."

"You don't have to worry about house work, the boys and I are going to split it all between us, so you don't have to worry about it. You just need to rest." Harada smiled, patting her forehead affectionately.

"No, it's alright, I feel fine." Chizuru muttered and attempted to get up.

Harada pushed her down into the futon, his face completely serious.

"Please Kaa-chan... We're all so worried about you. We want you to stay around for as long as you can... So... Please just rest." Harada pleaded softly.

Chizuru sighed and finally agreed, settling down and letting sleep consume her.

* * *

**New story for my fav anime series! It's going to be a Multi pairing with different endings.**

**This is the story order.**

**Hijikata – Pure Love**

**Saito – Obsessive Love**

**Okita – Damned Love**

**Heisuke – Childish Love**

**Harada – Kind Love**

**The chapters will most likely be slow until I can finish 'A True Samurai'.**


	2. HIjikata: Pure Love

Their Light – Hijikata's Route

The days had turned into weeks, all of the captains tried their best to be cheerful and happy around Chizuru, so as not to worry her. They took care of chores but Chizuru finally insisted she do the cooking, since the boys were useless when it came to cooking, plus the fact that it brought back some normalcy to their lives.

It was late into the night and everyone was in bed sleeping, all save one person. Hijikata was well awake, sitting at his desk with his book of Haiku's open. He chuckled to himself when he realised that most of them were about Chizuru. They were about her smile, her warmth, here motherly nature, her kindness, her cooking, her beauty, her sternness, her short fuse or her Edo accent or even, just about his own longing for her.

Hijikata felt his heart give a painful tug when he thought about how his time with her being cut short. He picked up his ink brush and wrote down the thought that passed through his head.

_The one dearest to me,_

_Shall leave this world soon, _

_And never know my heart's desire for her._

Hijikata read it over what he'd written. There were no smudges in the ink, the characters were well written and neat. He growled at the page, clutching the brush tightly in his hand and bringing it back down on the page, he let the characters he'd just written become covered in his rage filled ink. He picked up his Haiku book and flung it at the screen door, the thud echoing as well as a small rip in the shoji screen. Hijikata let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

His head fell in his hands and he pulled his hair lightly. He couldn't take this, he needed his Chizuru. He needed her like he needed air to breath, water to drink. She was a necessity in his life, something he couldn't live without.

...1

"Chizuru?" Hijikata whispered.

Chizuru woke up, looking at the closed sliding door.

"Toshi?" She rasped.

Hijikata opened the door and entered the room, closing it behind him. He made his way over to her and sat down next to her.

She looked up at him in curiosity.

"What's the matter?" She asked.

Hijikata merely began to softly caress her deathly pale cheek. Chizuru felt her heart break a little when she looked into his eyes.

_I'm so sorry Toshi-chan._

"You can't die on me, ok? You're not allowed to." Hijikata whispered.

Chizuru nodded, smiling sadly.

Chizuru made some room for him on the futon. He slid in next to her, holding her cold body close to his, trying to keep her warm. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply, her scent, like sweet cherry blossoms, filled his senses completely. He drowned himself in everything that was Chizuru, her scent, the softness of her hair, her pale skin, her deep brown eyes.

His heart gave a painful tug, knowing that he didn't have that much time left with her. A lump formed him his throat and his eyes burned with unshed, sorrowful tears. He didn't know if this would be one of the last times he had a moment with her like this. Their future was so uncertain. The only certainty was that, by the end of next year, Chizuru would not be there.

He'd made his decision.

"Chizuru." Hijikata said.

"Hm?"

"Marry me." He whispered.

Chizuru looked up at him. His eyes were set on her, watching her expression, as if trying to read what she was thinking. She reached her hand up and stroked his cheek with a tenderness that could only be described as _love_.

"Toshizo. I love you. But, if I marry you, it'll just hurt even more after I'm gone." Chizuru answered.

Hijikata held her closer.

"I don't care, be mine, Chizuru. My lover, my wife, my world. Please." Hijikata whispered.

Chizuru smiled sadly.

"All of those words, lover, wife. They're just titles. You know how much I love you, so it doesn't matter what title I go by." Chizuru said.

"It does to me. Chizuru, we've been together since childhood. I've always loved you. And now that I know my time with you has been limited... I want you to be my wife. I want to take us away from here, live a life with you, for however long we have left to be together, I want us to spend it together. I know it's selfish of me, but I still want it. I want all of it. To come home to you, my loving wife after a day of work, sit down with some tea you've made and just hold you for the rest of the day. That's all I want." Hijikata said.

Chizuru snuggled closer to his warmth, thinking about what he had said.

"I want that too Toshi. I want it so much." Chizuru whispered.

...

...

Chizuru wandered out in the early morning. It had snowed over night and now the garden was covered in a blanket of pure white snow. Chizuru stood out there, admiring the scenery.

"Chizuru." Saito said.

Chizuru looked up at him.

"Hajime-kun? You're up early." Chizuru stated.

"You should be inside. It's too cold out." Saito said, moving to bring her inside.

"Can I speak with you first, Hajime-kun?" Chizuru asked.

Saito stared at her, then nodded, walking over to stand closer her.

"Toshizo wants me to leave the Shinsengumi with him, to spend the rest of my time away from this place. And I'm going to go. Toshizo and I are getting married." Chizuru said.

Saito's heart clenched painfully. The woman he was so desperately in love with was leaving for her final few months to be with another man. His heart was in shreds.

"I'm happy if you're happy, Chizuru. You deserve to live a good life with the man you love. Go and be with him. He's a good man, Hijikata will take good care of you." Saito smiled, even though he was breaking on the inside.

_Stay here, with me. Don't leave me. I can love you, even more than Hijikata. I'll make you happy. Just stay here and spend the last few months of your life with me._

He dared not speak his mind, only wanting his beloved to be happy.

_Even if I'm not the one who's giving you happiness._

Chizuru reached up and kissed Saito on the forehead.

"Arigatou, Haji-chan." Chizuru whispered.

She turned to leave, and something inside Saito broke. He reached forward and pulled her body to his, holding her tightly.

"Haji-ch-."

"Just for a few minutes... Let me hold you like a man holds a woman, for just a few minutes." Saito whispered.

Chizuru felt a tear trail down her cheek. Chizuru nodded, resting her hands on his chest while his arms were constricted around her waist, his hands on back, pressing her against him even more. He let his face be buried in her neck, her soft dark brown hair tickling his cheeks.

_I love you, Chizuru. Can't you see how much I would do for you? I love you, I love you desperately. But I love you enough to know..._

Saito loosened his grip on her, breathing in her scent one last time, caressing every curve, running his cheek against the softness of her neck, feeling the smoothness of her hair, everything he could, selfishly committing it to memory. He finally pulled away. Chizuru smiled at him once more, as if to say a silent, heartbreaking goodbye.

_... That I need to let you go be happy, even if it's with Hijikata._

...

Hijikata packed up the cart with the few belongings he and Chizuru would be bringing with them. They would be travelling back to Edo, their old home, and would be living a little outside the town.

"Aw, Hijikata-san is stealing you away from us then?" Okita smirked.

Hijikata glared at him as he loaded the last of the bags.

"Oh, I'll miss you. Don't be afraid to come and visit." Chizuru said as she said goodbye and hugged her lifelong friends.

A part of her knew this was the last time she would be seeing her boys. She felt sad but at the same time, she knew she had to let them go. She knew that they were able to take care of themselves, and although she would miss each and every one of them, they would forever remain in her heart.

"I love you boys. Sayonara." Chizuru said.

Heisuke, Harada and Nagakura waved at their retreating form, the sound of the horse's hooves clinking getting farther and farther away until they couldn't see them anymore.

Okita watched his little Chizuru disappear from sight, his heart seeming heavy with sadness.

_I'll miss you, Chizuru-chan. I'll miss you every day._

Heisuke rubbed his eyes lightly, willing his tears away.

_Chizuru-kaa-chan, thank you for always caring for me when no one else would. Thank you. I'll never forget you. Be happy with Hijikata._

Harada clutched his chest lightly.

_It'll be so different around here without you around Chizuru-chan. I hope you live a good life though. You deserve happiness._

Saito looked down at the ground, his heart feeling a pain, far worse than anything he's ever felt. He was broken, shattered beyond repair. But in a strange way, glad she would spend her last few months happy and in love.

_I'll love you forever, Chizuru. I'll never be able to stop loving you. Goodbye, maybe we'll meet again in the next life. I know one thing though, no matter how many times I'm reborn, I'll fall in love with you, again and again._

...

"Tadeima." Hijikata called as he entered the small home he shared with Chizuru.

"Okirei." Chizuru answered from the joined kitchen.

Hijikata kneeled down at the small low table and waited for Chizuru to bring out the tea. It was a little rhythm they had gotten into since they came to Edo. They had been here for two months and it seems the fresh country side air had helped Chizuru a lot, but she was still dying. Hijikata was making every day he had with Chizuru count, making sure to make her smile every day, a goal he had set for himself since leaving the Shinsengumi.

He pulled out the small branch of cherry blossoms he had taken on his way home and placed it on the table, a grin plastered on his face.

"Ok, it's some new tea I got at the market today, it's really-." Chizuru stopped short and set the tea tray on the table and smiled at the cherry blossom branch.

"Arigatou, Toshi-chan." Chizuru smiled.

"I thought you'd like it. _The cherry blossoms, always remind me of you. That's why I love them so much._" Hijikata said, reciting one of his secret haiku's.

"Is that another one of your Haiku's, Toshi-chan?" Chizuru giggled as she took the branch to place it in some water.

Hijikata nearly choked on his tea.

"NANI!?" Hijikata yelled.

"But my favourite has to be '_My soul taking wings, touching the face of my beloved. You absorbed me within.' _Arigatou, they were lovely." Chizuru said.

"H-how-?"

"I've been reading them since you were fourteen. And you thought you could hide them from me. You do realise I cleaned your room all the time because you were such an unorganised scatter brain when we were younger. I thank Kami-sama Sann-chan taught you how to be somewhat organised." Chizuru laughed as she walked back in with the cherry blossom branch in a clay cup with cold water in it.

Hijikata was blushing a shade of pink that put the cherry blossom petals to shame. He pouted slightly, thoroughly embarrassed for being found out.

"You knew for that long?" Hijikata grumbled.

"Well of course my dearest husband. When will you understand you can't hide anything from me?" Chizuru laughed as she ruffled Hijikata's hair.

"Oh, so you think that _you_ can hide something from me." Hijikata smirked.

"Hm, well then, let's test that. I've been able to hide this from you, for a long time." Chizuru grinned.

"What?" Hijikata asked.

"You _weren't_ my first kiss." Chizuru smirked.

"N-n-nani!?" Hijikata jumped up.

"Mmhm." Chizuru said.

"Wh-who?!"

"It was Okita. We were just little kids though. I think I remember beating him with a broom, then I stayed in my room and cried for days, because I wanted to save my first kiss for someone else." Chizuru said.

"Who?! Oh let me guess! Harada!" Hijikata growled and laughed bitterly.

Chizuru giggled and moved over to kiss Hijikata's cheek.

"It was you, baka." Chizuru laughed.

Hijikata's eyes widened as he stared down at his one and only true love, a smile broke out on his face and he tilted his head to the side to capture Chizuru's lips in a possessive kiss, his hand on the back of her neck. He pulled away for breath.

"These lips, are mine. You're _my_ wife. _**Mine**_." Hijikata growled, holding her in his arms and falling on his back, pulling her on his chest.

Chizuru giggled.

"I'm always yours Toshizo. Always." Chizuru said.

Hijikata inhaled her scent and held her tighter.

"Good. Remember that woman." Hijikata sighed.

...(lemon alert)

Hijikata was laying down on his back on the large, single futon both him and Chizuru slept on. He was only in his thin night robe, waiting for Chizuru to come to bed. She was behind a changing screen getting dressed, right across from Hijikata. The lamp she had in there was enabling Hijikata to see her outline in the shoji screen. He watched secretly as she took off her day kimono, letting it slide off her shoulders so painstakingly slow. He could see the outline of her naked figure and it thoroughly excited him.

She finally stepped out from behind the changing screen, dressed in her white sleeping kimono. She untied her hair and let it cascade down her shoulders and back. She shook it out slightly and came to lie on the futon alongside Hijikata. He continued to stare at her with lusty eyes. He wanted her, screaming and moaning his name until they were both fully sated, and he wanted it right then and there. Hijikata leaned over until both of his hands were on either side of her head, his knee in between her legs, moving up to the apex of her thighs to give it a gentle nudge.

Hijikata's eyes darkened at her look of question, tilting her head to the side in an innocent manor. Hijikata lowered his lips to brush against her left ear.

"Do you know how much you arouse me without even trying?" Hijikata panted hotly in her ear.

He ground his growing erection into her hip. He leaned down on his forearm and let his other hand wander down to the apex of her thighs, cupping her and gently massaging her sensitive flesh. Chizuru mewled softly, reaching her hands up to his slightly exposed chest, opening the front of his kimono and trailing her hands up and down his chest, rubbing his abs , then trailing back up, then going back down, each time getting lower and lower until she was almost at the place he wanted her hands the most. Hijikata hastily ripped open Chizuru's kimono, riding himself of his as well. Neither ever wore undergarments for bed, so both were before each other, bare and unclothed. Her pale white flesh, no marks, scars or bruises marred her beautiful skin, which made him want to mark her more, to mark her as his.

Hijikata grabbed her breasts, squeezing them tightly in his hands, eliciting a moan from her. Hijikata gently began kneading her breasts, flicking her hardened nipples with his thumbs once and then lowering his head to seize her right nipple in his mouth, pulling and tugging delicately at the hard peak with his teeth. He gave a hard suck suddenly, swirling his tongue around her nipple.

"Ah! Toshizo!" Chizuru cried out.

Hijikata slid a finger inside her, testing to see how wet she was, and she was soaking. He added another finger, pumping them in and out. After a few minutes he pulled them out and replaced them with his large pulsating member, teasing her folds until finally entering her tight heat. Hijikata and Chizuru moaned at the feeling of their unity. He held onto her hips and thrust wildly inside of her, growling in pleasure.

"Mine... You're... All mine..." Hijikata groaned as he pounded himself into her harder.

"Ah, Toshizo, yours... I'm yours forever." Chizuru panted, then sealing her lips with Hijikata's.

Their tongues danced together as their bodies reached their climax, both of them pulling away to call out each other's name with their release.

Hijikata rolled onto his side and brought Chizuru to rest on his chest, both wrapping each other in a lovers embrace that they wished could last forever.

...

A year was almost up, Chizuru was finding it harder and harder to get around, Hijikata had made her stay in bed and not go outside. He stayed with her as much as he could and only worked twice or three times a week.

Matsumoto had come by to give Chizuru her check up.

"Hijikata-san. It's coming to an end. She's going to die soon." Matsumoto sighed.

Hijikata felted his heart stop for a second.

"I suggest you prepare for the worst. I've left the medicine she'll need to ease the pain, but as I've said before, that's all I can do for her. I'm sorry." Matsumoto said.

1

"Toshizo..." Chizuru coughed.

"I'm here Chizuru, I'm here." Hijikata whispered as he took her hand in his.

"Gomen. I wanted to spend more time with you. But I'm just too weak. Gomen." Chizuru smiled sadly.

"No, you're not weak. You're stronger than anyone I know. You put up with the most annoying Shinsengumi captains in history. You were able to manage an entire compound all by yourself. You kept all us captains in line and made us better men. You were our light in the darkness. You were the strongest out of all of us. So don't you ever think otherwise." Hijikata said.

Chizuru smiled.

"Thank you, Toshi-chan... I've written some... Letters... I want you to bring them to the boys, and I want you to go back to the Shinsengumi. They need you. The age of the sword is coming to an end, so you need to fight for it. Whatever happens, I don't want this to weigh you down, because Kondou-san and the others need you. And you'll need them... So please... I want you to live, no matter how bad things may get, no matter how downtrodden or hopeless it may be. I want you to fight to live." Chizuru smiled.

"How could I ever think of living in a world without you!? I could never-!" Chizuru gripped his hand.

"I know it will be hard, and at times, it'll be unbearable, but the man I fell in love with... is stronger than that. The man that I love will always move forward!" Chizuru coughed.

"Chizuru!"

"Promise me... To fight... To fight until the end... And know that... That I... Will love you... Even after I die." Chizuru smiled, blood dripping from her mouth.

"No, Chizuru-!"

"Please Toshizo..." Chizuru whispered.

Hijikata choked on a sob and held Chizuru close to him.

"I'll fight. I'll fight, _for you_." Hijikata said, his voice shaking.

Chizuru smiled.

"I'm glad..." Chizuru said, her eyes beginning to close.

Hijikata's eyes widened in alarm.

"No... You can't die yet! You can't leave me yet, Chizuru!" Hijikata yelled.

"Gomen... Toshi-chan..." Chizuru whispered.

"Chizuru!"

"Arigatou... I love you... And thank you for loving me... May we meet again in the next life..." Chizuru breathed her final breathe; reaching up to touch Hijikata's tear stained face. Her hand brushed his cheek smiling a happy, final smile, then her eyesight went, and her hand fell lifelessly.

Hijikata caught it and held it to his cheek.

"No! No! NO!" Hijikata shouted, hugging her closer.

He placed a sloppy, desperate kiss on her cold lips.

"Come back to me... Come back to me!" Hijikata cried as he pressed kisses to her dead lips, her blood staining his lips.

Hijikata let out a pained sob, clutching Chizuru's limp body to his.

"Chizuru!" He yelled.

...

...

"It's good to have you back, Toshi." Kondou said.

Hijikata didn't say anything, just nodded. He looked around the common room.

"Where is everyone?" Hijikata asked.

Kondou smiled sadly.

"Grieving."

...

...

Saito was sitting silently in his room. He then reached over to his small wardrobe and pulled out a familiar blue work kimono and hugged it close to him, inhaling the calming scent of his deceased beloved. His eyes looked over to the unopened letter Hijikata had given him. It was from Chizuru.

He laid back on his futon and kept the kimono close as he opened the letter.

_Dear Hajime-kun,_

_If you're reading this, then I've passed on. I'm sorry I didn't get to say a proper goodbye. But I need you to know something._

_I knew you were in love with me. I tried to ignore it, but a part of me always loved you. But I loved Hijikata more._

_Perhaps, in another life, I would have fallen in love with you. In a different time. Maybe we'd have been happy together._

_I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you loved me. But please, don't let me hold you back. I think there's someone out there who deserves your love more than me. And she'll be the happiest girl in the world._

_Thank you Hajime, for loving me the way you do. But life's all about second chances. This is yours Hajime. Take it. Make this change, and be happy._

_All my love,_

_Chizuru_

Saito felt the tears streaming down his face. A bitter smile adorned his face.

_Don't you know Chizuru, I believe in things that never change. I'll never stop loving you._

_..._

_..._

1869

Hijikata lay on the ground, covered in blood. No men had been left standing everyone was dead. The Shinsengumi was finished.

Hijikata's eyes looked up to the sky and he smiled.

_Though my body may decay on the isle of Ezo  
My spirit guards my lord in the east._

Hijikata gave a final bitter laugh.

_This is where it ends Chizuru. I'm coming to you soon._


End file.
